Music- "Take You Out" - Luther Vandross

"I feel invisible when I dance, it is good for the soul!" - Sandy  

Mission Statement:

To provide our customers with professionalism through dance and pleasure while instructing and performing at our utmost effort to enhance an atmosphere that is meaningful, favorable and enjoyable at all events.

My Big Brother Derwood

Derwood, my brother, I'd give anything if I could just talk to you once more,  

If only just to see you walk through the door.

When I look into the sky, I can picture you staring down,

And then I realize I have no reasons to frown.

You are my big brother, you taught me to stand on my own,

Now that you’re gone, I’m not sure I can do it alone.

I will miss your voice, your infectious laugh and hearing you sing.

I can vision you gliding under God’s precious wings.

I hope he’s taking good care of you because you’re in his place,

I hope all your worries and fears have left your humble face.

I never got to say goodbye and that was the worst part,

But when you left secretly, you whispered goodbye to my heart.

Nothing is the same now and I doubt it ever will be,

But you have been released from pain and suffering, you have been set free.

So big brother, my heart seemed to be broken forever,

But God told me last night that in time the pieces will come back together.

I know you will always be around engulfing us with your love,

Giving us strength, keeping us close and watching over us from above.

My big brother, you are in a better place now, all your problems have gone away,

But remember we will meet again on the other side one sweet, sweet day!

I love you big brother,

Sandy B.

September 3, 2008

READ SLOW AND COMPREHEND FAST - Sometimes life will flip the script and you can find yourself in situations you never thought you would be. Life will change without your permission. Your health, business, family, money or job can take a turn. When difficulty comes it can make you or break you. When this happens you must dig deep for your faith, strength, courage and wisdom. Some things you may be able to cope with and some things will change you. Some circumstances will challenge you to speak up, get up, think up, bounce back up, stand up and never give up. Whatever you're going through you can choose to be bitter or get better. You can choice to whine, weep, worry and wait. Or you can take a stand that you will not be defeated, discouraged maybe, but not defeated. Delayed maybe, but not defeated.  This is why I am writing about haters something that I have avoided writing about but the time has come!!!

I agree with one of Erykah Badu's earlier songs when she sang "pick your friends like you pick your fruit." Jewel Diamond said do not spend major time with minor people. If there are people in your life that continually disappoint you, break promises, stomp on your dreams, are too judgmental, have different values and don't have your back during difficult times ... that is not a friend. To have a friend, is to be a friend. Sometimes in life as you grow, your friends will either grow or go. Surround yourself with people who reflect your values, goals, interests and lifestyle. Remember what your elders used to say, "birds of a feather flock together." If you're an eagle, don't hang around chickens ... chickens can't fly.

That was so deep!  I am really going to concentrate on writing my book but I may have to let go of another passion for a while. One thing I will not give up is sending out front page inspirational messages that so many of my readers enjoy.  One lady said she prints them off and read them in her Sunday school class and one professor said he uses them for discussion in his class he teaches.  Isn’t it wonderful to be truly blessed?

August 27, 2008

"I am always doing things I am not sure I can do, that's how I get to do them." Sandy B.  The truth of the matter is that there's nothing you can't accomplish if: (1) You clearly decide what it is that you're absolutely committed to achieving, (2) You're willing to take massive action, (3) You notice what's working or not, and (4) You continue to change your approach until you achieve what you want, using whatever life gives you along the way.  By saying this I would like to thank everyone who attended the Jazzee Js 6^th SwingOut Graduation on last Saturday at Rhea’s Supper Club.  I was embraced by people that I did not even know and said how proud they were of what I was doing. I first must thank Stephanie, Jocelyn and Craig for spending three hours on Saturday helping me decorate.   I missed many of my longtime supporters that were not there for various reasons and I appreciate and except all apologies but you really missed a treat!!!   

As you entered Rhea’s Supper Club you hear the sounds of Hawaiian style reggae music as a bamboo curtain allows you to be greeted by Jocelyn and a Hawaiian standup guy asking “Have a lei?”   Looking around the club you will see the wonderful décor that Jocelyn, Stephanie, Craig and I spent hours decorating a few hours before.  The ambiance of the club with paradise tablecloths, shells in baskets, leaf table runners and sand filled candle holders set the mood for the night.  Each sitting area was covered with poly leis in tropical colors for my guests.  The dance floor has an ALOHA tropical scene with inflatable palm trees and hibiscus umbrellas surrounding the dance floor.  The usual mirror has an ocean view scene draped with curtain covered with jewel sea shells.  You will see three tables on the dance floor with colorful tablecloths covered with Hawaiian fans and flower leis.  The edging of the rails are skirted with raffia green skirts.  Everyone is dress in tropical colors, wearing flower leis on their necks.  Each Jewel graduate, DIVA, has a flower in their hair and poly lei on their ankle as they greeted their family and friends.

Jazzee Jewels Willa, Myra and Lorinda are finishing the final touch on the Hawaiian buffet, as King William is starting line dances to. As more guests arrive the floor is flooded with dancers swinging and swaying with a mixture of swingout, west coast swing, chacha, latin, steppin’, smooth and old school dances to the sounds of old school/swing music played by DJ Barry.

Photographer Arric Robins is taking pictures throughout the event catching every move of the dancers as they swing n sway across the floor. He captured joyous moments that sometimes get away!  The graduates lined up at the buffet table and were served properly.  The buffet table was tropically dressed with leaves, flower leis, colorful dinnerware, tropical fish platters, Tiki lights, hibiscus cocktail parcels, and shells. Food served was Honoree’s Teriyaki meatballs, Sandy’s sweet barbeque meatballs, special hot sausage Louisiana style dirty rice and shrimp on ice soaked in Baja Citrus Marinade, Jocelyn’s grilled chicken wings and vodka soaked melon balls, Stephanie’s sweet ham and breast of turkey croissants and curried crab salad, Denae’s meat tortilla rollups, Lorinda’s delicious cold spaghetti salad, Carol’s pasta salad and special million dollar brownies, and Deidre’s famous strawberry cake.  The tropical fruit layout consisted of a baby carriage watermelon carving with honeydew, green and red grapes, strawberries, pineapples, and yellow melons. Thank you, Shirley, Sharon, Maria, Nikki, and Angie for the delicious fruit. 

At 8:30 pm I asked the wonderful guest to sit back, get comfortable, relax and enjoy the festive journey through paradise, the Jazzee Js 6^th Swingout Graduation.  The skit began with music “Supernatural” by Babyface as Jewels Stephanie, Nikki and Sharon danced on the dance floor as if they were at a party.  The graduating Jewels, Carmencita, Cheryl, Denae, Maria, Maureen, Shanna, Sonja, Tina H., and Tina T., walked up the platform laughing and talking as if they were entering a party.  Stephanie called the graduating Jewels to the middle of the floor to show them the basic steps of swingout dancing.  After showing them a couple of steps, the ladies joined as if they had just learned.  Two ladies at a time crossed over the center of the circle in transition.  When all ladies crossed over, Stephanie did hand singles for the full turn and half turn. Then she had the ladies do the walk to the center of the circle and back. Jewel Denae led the ladies off doing their best walk to the decorative tables on the dance floor. The “Bartender” by T-Pain began to play as body fit King Terrance danced his way to the dance floor carrying the ladies tropical frosted tumblers.  As he served each Jewel he did a manly dance.  Was there a lap dance in the mix????  After King Terrance danced his way off the dance floor, DJ Barry blasted R. Kelley’s “In The Club”. Kings Rodney, Alvin, John, Mike, and Rico walked on the dance floor and observed the Jewels at the table laughing and talking.  Each King draped a lei around the Jewel’s neck and requested a dance.  There were three couples on the dance floor at a time.  As I announced the Jewel’s name, their King, one at a time, lead them to the center of the dance floor and showcased their style of swingout.  It was at that time I read the bio of each dancer.  After the last Jewel was showcased, the beautiful graduates walked around the dance floor led by Jewel Tina T while the photographer captured every angle celebrating the power and grace of the DIVAS as they broke free with romantic and intuitive movements.  The audience stood, clapped, screamed, gave high fives, hugged, and smiled!  I then presented each graduate with their Jazzee Jewel Certificate and shoe bag.  The Kings received “Real Men Swing Dance” towels in their choice of color (red, brown, gold, or gray).

The graduates were elated at the way things turned out and were celebrating with hugs.  It was now time for our first showcase.  To the dance floor was Joy and Jeremy, OKC’s finest west coast swingers. Sugar push footwork ( bringing both partners close together and then returning them to where they started, just like in the swingout) as Jeremy led Joy and she followed graciously.  West coast swing is an elegant, sophisticated swing similar to the lindy hop and jitter bug but with Joy and Jeremy it was much more, it was a gentle upright-postured, smooth and warm dance!  The audience roared and expressed delight with many claps.  Next to the dance floor was Texas swingout dancers Rasheed and Shantee who have both been dancing for less than a year.  Rasheed’s emphasizing moves while sliding Shantee between dance positions with a wave rhythm break and some funky, hot moves. Just fantastic and the audience loved them.  I then asked the audience to participate in the graduates basic swingout class steps to show them exactly what we do in class.  The floor was filled with graduates, beginners, intermediates, and advanced dancers as Stephanie and I led the way.  It was absolutely wonderful to see so many dancers in line on the dance floor at one time.  Next, everyone saluted Dominque as he swanged Lauren across the dance floor.  Their style of swing included the jive, whip, push, west coast, jitterbug, and lindy hop.  You could tell by the smile on Lauren’s face that it was all good!!! I want to thank Dominque for being able to showcase even with a broken toe!  The showcasers ROCKED!!! After the Oklahoma dancers left the dance floor, I summoned the Dallas dancers to showcase next.  Oh it was beautiful.  Everyone was watching in awe!  The dance floor was cover for the rest of the night with echoes of laughter, clapping, finger popping, swinging, swaying, line dancing, sliding and shuffling.  Another fantastic night to remember!!! I am going to try and remember everyone from Texas that I absolutely adore and support. If I miss anyone I am truly sorry!  They were Kings Rodney, Big Smooth Derrick, Dominique, Sir Charles, Rasheed, James, William, Edward, Lenny, and Queens Lauren, Shantee, NaNa, Harriett, and Rose.  Tulsa finest, Ms. Lynn, Wichita Falls own King Brian and thank you, Terrance for bringing the Lawton group.  Also I would like to thank Oklahoma City instructors for supporting this event - LJ, KO, Bridget and Derek. Last but certainly not least, owner Ray Cole and staff for allowing us to have access to his place of business for dance.   Arric will be in class at Rhea’s Supper Club on Thursday, August 28, for you to purchase or order pictures.

August 21, 2008

You will encounter resistance from people who feel threatened by your desire to change or grow. Be aware of those who contribute to your life and those that drain you. The right people in your life can keep you energized and motivated. I totally agree with Essence's magazine editor Susan L. Taylor's quote, "Not everyone deserves a front row seat in your life." My mentor taught me, "If God has called you to do something, don't waste time looking over your shoulder to see who is coming to help you." As you begin to make positive changes in your life don't look over your shoulders waiting for everyone to go and grow with you. Keep moving forward. Don't allow the naysayers, slackers and haters keep you stuck in procrastination, fear and struggle. It takes courage and perseverance to reach a new level of success. Yes, there will be times of self-doubt and hesitation. Encourage yourself. Motivate yourself. Pump yourself up! Believe in yourself! Ready, set....grow!

I remember hearing Della Reese's character; tell another character on the "Touched by An Angel" TV show, "Stop listening to fear." That one phrase was so powerful to me. The voice of fear will lie, confuse, trick, destroy and terrorize you. The voice of fear will take you away from truth, power, peace and the love of God. Listening to the voice of fear will keep you suppressed and depressed. Fear can paralyze you and stress you out. Good and evil have always existed. Every day you have to make the choice of which one will get your attention and time. The enemy wins and you lose, if the enemy gets all of your faith, joy, peace and time. Can you visualize the car, home, business, weight loss, travel, relationship, job or retirement you wish to have?  Give God thanks in advance as you rid yourself of doubt, fear and limitation.  While you're waiting...pray with your feet!  Take consistent steps.  Even though you may see obstacles now with your physical eye, keep your spiritual eye on the answered prayer.  "Faith it until you make it."

Do I see anything that needs to be done for me that I am not doing? Or do I only see what others could be doing and are not? Do I? Do I? Do I support myself by nurturing myself, accepting what I feel and letting my needs be known? Or do I shrink under criticism, blame others for my conditions and look for the easy way out? Do I? Do I? Do I recognize my truth and speak it when I feel the need? Or do I allow fear and people pleasing to silence me? Do I? Do I? Do I continue to do the things I know are not good for me and do not bring me what I want? Or do I examine myself, correct myself, accept myself but commit to get better? Do I? Do I? Do I know what I want, believe I can have it, do everything in my power to bring it about? Or do I accept what others tell me about my limitations and limit myself to what they believe? Do I? Do I? Do I have faith in spirit, faith in myself, faith in things unseen? Do I? Do I? Do you? "But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.  That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord." James 1:6-7.

June 26, 2008

My advice to you and repeat after me “I will enjoy life as it comes, in the precious moments of each day. I will live success and fulfillment here and now, not in some distant, imagined future. I will not set myself up as a hostage to my circumstances or my inventory of possessions.  I will choose right now to live richly and fully no matter what. Make joyful and thankful use of whatever I have, wherever I am. There is so very much I have going for me. I will pay no attention to those who scream that I must have this thing or that experience in order to be happy. I will ignore them, and simply choose to be happy by creating my own interpretation of happiness all around me. I will keep in mind that most of the people who tell me how bad things are, seek to gain their own power or profit from my dismay. Life is good, life is rich, life is joyful and fulfilling to the extent I choose to make it so. Today I have opened my eyes, looked around, and saw how truly beautiful my world can be. Real success is mine the moment I begin to make it.  I will begin at this moment because there may not be another moment for me!” – sb

JUNE 19, 2008 - A DAY TO REMEMBER - Juneteenth

Advise that is right on time!! “Are you going to stop now because someone didn't love you, help you, support you or believe in you? Are you going to stop now because you didn't pass the interview or test? Are you going to give up because you didn't get the audition, the contract, the job or that promotion? Are you going to give up because love walked out the door or because love didn't return your phone call or because love hasn't even shown up yet in your life? Don't quit ... stick with it. You may be delayed and discouraged ... Life is difficult and divine. Life is bitter and it's sweet. When things go wrong, don't go with it. Sometimes there just aren't easy answers. Life offers mystery and miracles. Keep the faith. Believe in every cell of your being that you are strong, capable, lovable,worthy and resilient.

June 12, 2008

I never give up on my dream.  Once you believe all things are possible.  So my advice to myself and to you is “Hang in there. Some situations are beyond your control. Surrendering and being still until your storm passes is not a sign of weakness. Sometimes it's the best and only thing to do. No matter how good a person you are or how much preparation you make, stuff happens. Hold on. Remain optimistic. Trust that God has an answer and a breakthrough for you. And most of all, don't quickly label yourself a bad person, a failure or a loser. Whether you're looking for a job, praying for restored health, trying to close a sale, buy a home, fighting depression/grief or waiting for "that" phone call ... don't give up. We all go through seasons in our life, but the reasons aren't always obvious or revealed. Read Joshua 1:9 –

Life brings unspeakable pain and unspeakable joy. Life is full of surprises, struggle, success and sadness. Some things you can't change. Some things you can't control. Some things you can't avoid. Some things you can't understand. But there are things you can endure. Some things you can change. Some things you can avoid. Some things you can start. Do the best you can with what you have right where you are. Learn ways to strengthen yourself mentally, spiritually, physically, financially and emotionally. Your change and breakthrough can happen anytime. Just don't give up

June 4, 2008

Most people do not have to wait for someone else to talk them out of their dreams, they will do it themselves! They use words that limit their vision and keep them from even giving their dreams a fighting chance. You must stop using negative words and start using positive, affirmative words. These are the words I live by, repeat after me: Did is a word of Achievement, Won’t is a word of Retreat, Might is a word of Bereavement, Can’t is a word of Defeat, Ought is a word of Duty, Try is a word of the Hour, Will is a word of Beauty, Can is a word of Power…..GO OBAMA OUR NEXT PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES!!!!  A CHANGE IS GONNA COME! IF YOU JUST STOP AND THINK….WHAT A GREAT HISTORIC DAY THIS IS!!

I am so proud of this great man and his accomplishments.  I believe, I have faith, I am loyal to Senator (soon Mr. President) Barack Obama and have followed his honest, sincere, respectful CHANGE Campaign since day one.  This is exactly what Dr. Martin Luther King meant in his “I Have a Dream Speech when he said “We cannot be satisfied as long as a Negro in Mississippi cannot vote and a Negro in New York believes he has nothing for which to vote. No, no we are not satisfied and we will not be satisfied until justice rolls down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream. I am not unmindful that some of you have come here out of your trials and tribulations. Some of you have come fresh from narrow jail cells. Some of you have come from areas where your quest for freedom left you battered by the storms of persecutions and staggered by the winds of police brutality. You have been the veterans of creative suffering. Continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering is redemptive.” He went on to say “Let us not wallow in the valley of despair. I say to you today, my friends, so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow. I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream. I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up... live out the true meaning of its creed. We hold these truths to be self-evident that all men are created equal.” 

May 28, 2008

Advice forever-“What do you know and believe? That is your guiding philosophy. How do you feel? That is your attitude. Who do you trust? That is where your faith resides. Who adds to your life? They will expand your possibilities. Who drains you? They can steal your joy, peace, health and success. How do you spend your time? That is your activity. Opportunities are driven by your attitude and actions. Faith without activity bears no fruit. You only do what you know, feel and trust. Sweet sleep comes from doing the best you can. What could you become --- what could you experience --- --- what could you have if you really read, studied, dreamed, saved, prayed, networked, asked for help, got out of your comfort zone, used your time wisely, served others and gave your all? Procrastination is a thief. Things are not going to change unless you change. Life is fragile, wonderful, short and subject to change. Guard your wealth, health and significant relationships (personal and professional). Learn to serve others and realize that confidence, integrity and service to others are a shortcut to increase. Discipline, patience, prayer, planning, perseverance and proactive activity will pay off. Promise yourself you will never give up.

May 21, 2008

Great Advice: The worst thing you can do when faced with a challenge is to run away from it, because it will come after you, and will gain even more strength. If you think it's bad now, just wait until it has grown bigger and stronger. You'll regret that you did not choose to face it sooner. Confront your challenges as quickly as you can. You'll make far more progress that way. Going forward through the obstacles may indeed be difficult. Yet it is a far better path than going backwards in retreat. Sooner or later you must work your way through the challenges that stand between you and your goals. The sooner you do it, the better. It will never be easy, but there's no need to make it more difficult than it has to be. Move yourself forward. Push a little harder when you need to. Confront the challenges as they come, get them quickly behind you, and you can go as far as you want.

May 15, 2008

Finding yourself at a dead end does not in itself prevent you from reaching your destination. There's another road that will take you there. Keep looking and you'll find it.  Reach a little higher today than yesterday. Raise your expectations a little bit more. After all, you're wiser and more experienced than you were even just a day ago. In fact, you now have more knowledge and more experience than you've ever had before in your life.  Even if yesterday was a total disaster, you've at least learned something from it. And if yesterday was full of success, you've learned from that as well. The bottom line is that you're more experienced, more aware of what works and what doesn't work. So reach higher today than you did yesterday. And resolve to reach even higher tomorrow. As time goes on you are continually growing and improving, so you might as well take advantage of that.  Reach higher and you'll attain more. Expect more of yourself, and those expectations will soon become your reality. Each day provides ample opportunity for improvement. So expect to improve. And you will.”

May 8, 2008

This is my advice and I would like to share it with you.  Repeat after me; “Beginning today I will no longer worry about yesterday. It is in the past and the past will never change. Only I can change by choosing to do so. Beginning today I will no longer worry about tomorrow. Tomorrow will always be there, waiting for me to make the most of it. But I cannot make the most of tomorrow without first making the most of today. Beginning today I will look in the mirror and I will see a person worthy of my respect and admiration. This capable person looking back at me is someone I enjoy spending time with and someone I would like to get to know better. Beginning today I will cherish each moment of my life. I value this gift bestowed upon me in this world and I will unselfishly share this gift with others. I will use this gift to enhance the lives of others. Beginning today I will take a moment to step off the beaten path and to revel in the mysteries I encounter. I will face challenges with courage and determination. I will overcome what barriers there may be which hinder my quest for growth and self-improvement. Beginning today I will take life one day at a time, one step at a time. Discouragement will not be allowed to taint my positive self-image, my desire to succeed or my capacity to love. Beginning today I walk with renewed faith in human kindness. Regardless of what has gone before, I believe there is hope for a brighter and better future. Beginning today I will open my mind and my heart. I will welcome new experiences. I will meet new people. I will not expect perfection from myself nor anyone else: perfection does not exist in an imperfect world. But I will applaud the attempt to overcome human foibles. Beginning today I am responsible for my own happiness and I will do things that make me happy . . . admire the beautiful wonders of nature, listen to my favorite music, pet a kitten or a puppy, soak in a bubble bath . . . pleasure can be found in the most simple of gestures. Beginning today I will learn something new; I will try something different; I will savor all the various flavors life has to offer. I will change what I can and the rest I will let go. I will strive to become the best me I can possibly be. Beginning today, and every day from this day on, I will.  Amen!”

May 1, 2008

"Whenever times get hard, when you don't know how you got wherever you are,  let alone how you're going to make it out, out of the pain, out of the heartache, out of the terrible sorrow or situation you find yourself in, remember that God never built a staircase to nowhere. And when you do what you can...He will do what you can't." - Patti LaBelle

April 23, 2008

What or who is pushing your buttons?  Is it your boss, parent, spouse, the traffic, bill collectors, betrayal from a friend, a nasty divorce, a cancelled flight, long lines at the grocery store, car accident, etc.   Often the people we love or work with trigger emotions of anger and impatience. Change your glasses.  Begin to see that everyone is dealing with some type of issue.  When you relate to them with love, you will no longer think of them as a drain on your energy.   You can learn to tame your anger with patience. Anger is one letter short of danger.  Expressing your angry feelings in an assertive -- not aggressive -- manner is the healthiest way to express anger. To do this, you have to learn how to be clear what your needs are, and how to get them met, without hurting others. Being assertive doesn't mean being pushy or demanding; it means being respectful of yourself and others.  Memories of traumatic events can also trigger angry feelings.   If this is your “anger trigger”, it’s a healthy idea to begin opening up the process of forgiveness for yourself or towards those who have hurt you. Yes, you need emotional and physical boundaries to keep people who harm you at a distance.  You can also learn to express your intense emotions in a healthy way…at the right time…to the right person…in the right way.  Anger is a natural, adaptive response to threats; it inspires powerful, often aggressive, feelings and behaviors, which allow us to fight and to defend ourselves when we are attacked. A certain amount of anger, therefore, is necessary to our survival. There are people and things you cannot control.  Only control what you can control.  Practice deep breathing.  Notice your patterns of coping with anger.  Do you express your feelings…suppress your feelings or relax and calm yourself? Prolonged intense anger certainly sets the stage for depression, strokes, headaches, and heart disease to back pain.   If you suppress or "depress" your feelings, you become cut off from your emotional energy and left with feelings of fatigue and disconnection from life.  Your body begins to slow down and you feel like you’re running on empty.  Anger negatively affects your health and peace of mind.  Ask yourself, “Do I want to continue carrying this poison in my heart, mind, body and spirit?”  Acknowledging that you have uncontrollable anger is your first positive step toward emotional wellness.  People will make you angry but do not let anyone steal your joy!!!!

April 16, 2008

Do not look forward to the changes and chances of this life in fear; rather look to them with full hope that, as they arise, God, whose you are, will deliver you out of them.  He is your keeper.  He has kept you hitherto. Hold fast to his dear hand, and he will lead you safely through all things; and when you cannot stand, he will bear you in his arms.  Do not look forward to what may happen tomorrow.  Our Father will either shield you from suffering, or he will give you strength to bear it.

When you blame others for your problems, you give up your ability to solve them. Do you really want to do that?  No matter who may have done what, your best strategy is to take responsibility for it. Though it may be their fault, it's your life. Don't depend on those who have hurt you in the past, to help you in the future. Forget about who is to blame. Focus on what is to be done.  If you're not satisfied with your circumstances, it's up to you to change them for the better. Certainly there are many things outside your control. Accept them, adjust for them, and put your efforts into moving forward as a result of your own thoughts, your own actions.  The energy it would take to blame and hold a grudge can be used instead to make a positive difference. Rather than perpetuating something unpleasant in your past, choose to leave it behind. Create your future the way you would like it to be. DO NOT GIVE UP

If you were to die today, who would take care of your needs?  That is probably one of the best question I ever asked myself.  After my oldest brother passed, I decided then that my family would not be stressed upon my death.  I gathered all my information (life insurance policies with beneficiaries, typed up a will, looked on the Internet for a living will and filled it out, my pictures, my life history for the newspaper and obituary, my songs and who will sing them, my favorite scripture, my special friends, my pallbearer and flower bearers, my service and burial place).  On selecting a church or place for the services be sure it is large enough to accommodate not only your family but your friends and colleagues. I love my church dearly, but it is not large for my service and I know my children will find the ideal place.  As I was gathering my information and looking at old pictures, I realized that I have friends that are more of a family than some of my family members.  True friends are always there for you but there are many family members that have not been a part of your life for years will attend a funeral.  You know I am right!!!! Here are a few suggestions to help you relieve the stress of your loved ones if you should die.  First and most important, make sure you personal affairs are in order!! Preparing a will and organizing your legal and financial business will help your family member take care of your estate.  Some people feel that they have no estate to arrange for, but your estate includes insurance policies, pension benefits, retirement benefits, bank accounts and any other income you have.  A will is the only way that you can be sure that you, rather than a judge, made decisions about your estate.  It is imperative that you name a power of attorney but make sure it is someone that is trustworthy and will do what you would have wanted.  Designate this person to be the number one person in deciding on your belongings. If you get gravely ill and cannot speak or make decisions, then your power of attorney will make those decisions in your behalf.  Also, write a living will.  A living will grants your wishes about medical care but be sure and talk to your family and doctor because it may include Do Not Resuscitate statement.  Make your memorial of funeral plans.  It is much easier for you and your loved ones if you make plans together or share with them your wishes.  Plans should include: What type of services, should there be a wake or memorial service also, where the services will be held, what day and time (I prefer Saturday at high noon), who will perform the services, will there be a burial or cremation, what are your preferences for special readings, acknowledgements (instead of reading all of them, send thank you cards), speakers who will talk about the good things that happened in your life and the happy times, and the music. Be sure and put your wishes, your wills, and important papers in a safe but visible place that your children or a reliable family member knows about.  No matter how much you prepare for this moment, death arrives in its own time and in its own way.  The experience of dying is different for every person and for every family.  You would be surprise how different people cope with death (I pray, dance and hug as many people as I can). It is up to you to do whatever you feel will help and take as much time as you need to say goodbye.  So many people are ready to lend a helping hand and please accept those hands.  Keep their names and numbers handy for you to call if you just want to talk.  Always remember when a love one dies, you are not alone.  One thing for certain in life, if you are born you will die!  Ask yourself these questions and I will leave this alone for at least two weeks.  They are:  If you were to die today, what kind of shape would your family be in? If you were to die today, what would you have failed to give to God because of bigger barns? If you were to die today, would you be able to say that you’ve given your first fruits? But an even more important question is, if you were to die today, are you a 100% sure that you are going to heaven?

March 27, 2008

Good For You! You have been getting up even when you didn't feel like it. You continue to do the right thing even though you may not get the credit or feel unappreciated. You handle your responsibilities even though it gets difficult at times. You get out of the bed even though you want to pull the covers over your head. You held your tongue and controlled your temper even though you had some "choice" words for that person who disrespected or hurt you. You spoke up even though you took the risk of criticism or rejection. You finished what you started. You said "no" even though your flesh wanted to say "yes." You continue to take care of your family and responsibilities even though you get weary. You are taking better care of yourself and overcoming old hurts and habits. You continue to stay focused on your values and goals even though you are surrounded by distractions and temptation. You continue to show up for work even though you don't enjoy it. You tithe and help others even though you sometimes wonder if there is enough left for your needs. You're saying "yes" to life even though you've had some losses and setbacks. You know the Lord is the source of your strength and the strength of your life. You're not allowing others to defeat, define or discourage you. You may not have all that you want yet --- you may not be living or working where you want to yet -- - you may not be the person you want to be --- but thank God you're not how you used to be. You're not allowing people or circumstances to defeat, define or discourage you. Good for you --- your growing is showing!  DO NOT GIVE UP!!!

March 14, 2008

You know that issue you're struggling with? There is a solution. It may require you to do something different and out of your comfort zone. You may need to ask for assistance, delegate, brainstorm and collaborate with others. Or this time, you may have to go it alone. Your solution may be revealed to you only in part or you may have to make a sudden change. You may not understand how your steps are being ordered or you lack confidence. Anger, denial and depression only add to your problem. Whatever issue you're dealing with --- know that your behind will follow your mind. If your train of thought is negative, you are doomed to crash. So start thinking positive and creative thoughts. Don't allow past blunders to blur your vision for victory. You are smarter than you give yourself credit for. Put on your thinking cap. C - Concentrate without distractions; train your brain to focus. A - Affirm the positive, be optimistic. P - Pray for discernment, wisdom and courage. Proverbs 3:6 teaches, "In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths." "He also spoke a parable to them that they must always pray, and not give up." - Luke 18:1 Good for you --- your growing is showing! DO NOT GIVE UP

March 6, 2008

Advise for this week is Learn From it -When the result is not what you expected, learn from it. When you get the result you want, learn from that too. Every experience is a wonderful opportunity to learn.  Wisdom comes from learning the difficult lessons which experience teaches. With wisdom comes respect, authority and effectiveness. You pay a hefty price for wisdom, and yet what you get is even more valuable than what you paid. It is indeed difficult to console yourself to "learning from this" when things fail to go your way. It is much easier to get angry, to get depressed, to complain or even to forget about the whole thing. But when you do that, you end up paying the price without getting any value in return.  Whatever happens, let it increase your wisdom and, ultimately, your success. Whatever happens, get past the concerns of the moment and learn from it! When you hear only what you want to hear, you're not really listening. Listen to what you don't want to hear as well. That's how you'll learn. That's how you'll grow. That's how you'll get stronger. Though you may be confident in your knowledge, no one knows it all. No one has everything figured out. Others have much to teach you. Let their words add value to your life. There are opinions not your own which are very much worth considering. Listen to learn. Really listen and consider what others have to say. If someone were to provide a sumptuous meal to you, would you leave it half eaten? When someone is gracious enough to share their knowledge and experience with you, make the most of a great opportunity. Listen and hear not only what you thought you wanted to hear. Listen and hear what you have to learn.   Oh yea!!!

February 28, 2008

Thank you John O. for your wonderful advise "Live for the moment!" Life brings unspeakable pain and unspeakable joy. Life is full of surprises, struggle, success and sadness. Some things you can't change. Some things you can't control. Some things you can't avoid. Some things you can't understand. But there are things you can endure. Some things you can change. Some things you can avoid. Some things you can start. Do the best you can with what you have right where you are. Learn ways to strengthen yourself mentally, spiritually, physically, financially and emotionally. Your change and breakthrough can happen anytime. Just don't give up. If you want your dreams to come true, then it is absolutely necessary that you be persistent. Of all the qualities that create winners, the most important is persistence. You have got to keep trying, keep trying, keep trying and resolving in your mind that you will never give up. Never! Persistence breaks down resistance. Life is going to say, No! People are going to say, No! But if you persist, then life will finally have to say, Yes! It's a law. Just a like the law of gravity, which says that whatever you throw up, will come down. The law of averages says that if you keep asking long enough, you are going to get a "Yes." It's got to happen!

February 14, 2008

As I was preparing for my 5^th SwingOut Graduation Event, I began reading passages from different books and ran across a message from Iyanla Vanzant and the advice I received helped me create this elegant event!  It read “Many of us believe that unless we are struggling, we're not doing it right. We struggle with thoughts, feelings, even other people. We struggle with money problems, family problems and personal problems. Many of us have said, "I am tired of struggling!" Well, guess what? When you make the decision to stop struggling, you will stop. When you stop struggling, things get better. Struggle goes against the flow. It creates exhaustion in the mind and body. When you are exhausted you get sick. If you are sick, you must make a decision and commitment to do everything in your power to get better. The power is in the commitment never to do what makes you sick. The key is the decision never to tire of doing what is best, good and right for you.” So with that said, I thought to myself "nothing you have done has been a waste of time. Everything you have been through is a stepping stone to your next level. Don't let boredom, depression, fear or procrastination steal your joy or success. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another. Don't measure your success by what others have accomplished. Look over your shoulder and realize how far you have come. You're going to make it! You have what it takes to overcome the obstacles of ego, emotions, excuses and the enemy of darkness. You have what it takes to make your life productive and prosperous. A fuller life is waiting for your gratitude, faith, focus, willpower, commitment, courage and action. 

Therefore, the graduation event was fantastic, an absolute elegant affair that will never be forgotten.  In case you were not there I will summarize it for you.  Sit back, relax your mind and imagine.  The lights down low, the décor was red and black tablecloths, covered in red roses, red and black streamers, crystal cocktail glasses with clear diamond shaped stones and red and black long stemmed feathers. Red, black and white balloons evenly covered the ceiling. The buffet consisted of 2 meats, 2 salads, 2 green vegetables, breads and simmering milk chocolate for sweet ruby red strawberries.  Everyone was dress in red and black as they mingled and exchanged hugs.  In attendance were Oklahoma’s finest dancers including instructors Stephanie, LJ, KO, and Dallas’ Dominque and Gentry. Marcus, Sax player from D-Rec Smooth Jazz Band serenaded everyone while dining. The dance showcasing began at 8:00 pm with Sharon and Mike showcasing the elegant style of swingout dancing by swinging across the dance floor eloquently sometimes in ballroom style with a little kick of fancy hand motions while my son-in-law, Sly, recorded each move.   Michelle and Alexis took the floor and shouts were heard as their style of dance was upbeat with fancy foot movements, Savoy style of swing in a very fast and somewhat tango.  All in all, one swing, different style!  My sister, Stephanie, dressed in a long flowing red dress with a diamond brooch, positioned herself behind a curtain silhouetting the movements of her body swaying from side to side as she began hosting the event to the beat of Mary J. Blige’s “Work That”.  First introduced was my assistant and greeter, Jocelyn, dressed in a gorgeous red silk dress, one side short and one side long, as she diva walked across the floor. Each Jewel showcased their rhythm as they move behind the curtain silhouetting every move.  The Jewels were Lorinda, Sharon, Teresa, Shametra, Shantee, Taisha, Morgan, Faye, Sherita, Trina, and Chiquita.  The Jazzee Angels, Myra, Michelle and Willa were the last ladies to silhouette their moves.  The Jems posed behind the curtain as some did an old school move while others flexed their muscles to the song “Find Your Way” by KEM and they found their way strutting to the dance floor.  The Jems were Mack B., Mike C, Ira, Dannie, Gary, and Chris. The Kings of Swing, who gladly assisted, moved onto the dance floor with distinction.  They were Alexis, Avery, JT., Mike F., Rodney, and Terrance.  Lastly, I, in my long black floor flowing, shear back gown and long white gloves, moved to the curtain and danced my way through my graduates’ soul train line to the beat of Mary J. Blige’s “Just Fine”.  I turned to them and saluted with a kiss of gratitude and love.  Stephanie then asked the Jewels to salute their Jems.  As everyone coupled, DJ Todd began playing “It’s like Candy” by Cameo and the graduation steps began. Everyone’s talent of swing dancing showed on their faces and each knew they had completed a test in which they had worked so hard to achieve.  After the routine was complete, the Jems diva walked their Jewels off the dance floor.  Hand claps and kudos were heard throughout the building.  The dance floor was opened for a couple of songs as the Dallas show casers were warming up after a long drive.  First, Gentry and Olivia dressed in red and black with their smooth, unique style of swing dancing, moved the audience closer to the dance floor with shouts and claps.  Gentry’s emphasizing moves while sliding Olivia between dance positions with a wave rhythm break was fantastic.  Next, everyone saluted Dominque as he spinned Carmen across the dance floor.  Their style of swing included the jive, whip, push, west coast, jitterbug, and lindy hop.  As I watched them it reminded me of my father who was one of the best hand dancers in Oklahoma and would fancy his feet from one spot to another in a matter of seconds.  You could tell by the smile on Carmen’s face that it was all good!!!  After the showcasing was over, Stephanie, Jocelyn and I gave shoe bags, a rock affirmation, graduation certificate and a red blinking rose to each lady as I called their name. I then presented the men with an embroidered towel that read “Real Men Swing Dance”, a dance medallion, and graduation certificate.  I asked five of my Jewels to stand next to me while I announced to the audience that these young ladies never danced because of shyness and I told them how proud they should be as I am of their accomplishment.  I introduced my three children, Cassandra, Derek and Dustin, to everyone, took pictures and turned the dance floor over to the crowd. Everyone danced and danced and danced until after 1 am.  It was a night to remember!!  Now aren’t you upset that you did not attend!!! Thanks Shirley for the great after party (what goes on at Shirley’s, stays at Shirley).  Again thank you for your continuing support and I’ll see you on the dance floor!!! Thank you so much for your support and if you have not been told lately that you are loved, then I will “I love you!” 

November 21, 2007

MY DAILY AFFIRMATION:

Your body is one of the most fragile things you need to care for. All too often we allow sickness, stress, and even other people run our lives. It's tough to consistently pursue your goals when you're laid up or constantly fighting illness. Take a preventive approach to your health. By eating a healthy diet, exercising regularly, getting plenty of sleep, and dealing with your emotions, you can build and maintain a healthy body that can help you improve other areas of your life!

Life is not about weathering the storm; it's about learning to dance in the rain!"